Top 6 Ways to Be Irresponsible in the Church

By reading the title you may think that I've either lost focus of what this blog is all about or that I am using satire and I assure you I haven't lost the focus.

Far too often we find ourselves searching for our own comforts when we come to church. We are willing to sacrifice what the Lord has called us to do in an effort to remain where and how we want to. If that is your goal, you are embarking on an irresponsible life in His church. As an added bonus, here are some ways you ensure you won't become responsible anytime soon. (I'm still in a satirical mood, don't get confused)


6) Assume Everything

I will spare you the inevitable "don't you know what happens when you assume" joke that everyone tells and thinks they are being so clever! And yes, I've done it and thought I was being clever too.  When there are a lot of changes going on in the church or the church is growing and communication is not up to the standard of excellence that it should be, people tend to begin assuming why things are happening. "Why did that music leader change the way he used to do songs" or "how come that guy isn't playing the drums anymore and that other person is instead?"  Those types of questions are harmless enough, but when answered by the uninformed mind, it can be a recipe for disaster. Assuming that the pastor must be micromanaging the music minster or that the guy who used to play the drums must have had a moral failure and has been removed from his position, will simply give the Devil a foothold in your life and in the church. You may begin to become angry or resentful and you are probably completely wrong.  The best solution is for you to simply go ask. Go ask the drummer why he isn't playing anymore. You might find out that he needs surgery on his wrist and the doctor has asked him to sit out for a while. That's a lot different than him having an affair, now isn't it?  Of course, if you want to be irresponsible, make sure you assume the worst.



5) Share Your Assumptions with Others
Once you have been clever enough to discern what is going on without asking someone, now you have a duty to go and tell other people about your discovery! Keeping with the example of the drummer, make sure you tell your Sunday School class that they need to pray for "Bill" because he has been asked to step down from the drums and you can only assume the worst.  Bill and his wife have been coming to church in separate vehicles as well and you know what that means! Don't stop there! Make sure you tell your dearest friends over lunch, post prayer requests on Facebook for an "unspoken drummer and his estranged wife" and for Pete's sake, tell everyone you can so they don't have to figure it out for themselves.  This will ensure your irresponsibility remains intact!


4) Blame Others
This next one will really help maintain your irresponsible reputation! I can pretty much guarantee it and if I am wrong, it has to be someone else's fault! If you have any responsibilities in the church, and if you do I don't know why since working in the church is reserved for the paid staff only!  But, if you do, make sure you don't take responsibility when things go wrong. After all, there has to be someone else who caused the problem.  If you start taking the blame for things, people will respect you and believe that you are leadership material. With leadership comes responsibility and that is direct enemy of irresponsibility. So please, don't accept blame, even when it is your fault!



3) Wait for Someone Else to do Something
Of all my ideas I have to say this is the best ever!  You can already picture this I am sure. You are sitting in the sanctuary and the "Minster of Announcements" (everyone needs a title, right?) asks for people to sign up for Vacation Bible School.  You might be inclined to sign up, but DON'T! Sitting there and not saying a word is crucial for you unless you desire to have people expect things of you! To ensure you aren't called on, don't make eye contact with the speaker and by all means if that person does call on you for something, grab your phone, put it up to your ear and say, "Oh no! I will be right there" and run out!  Remember, if you agree to something, you will expected to follow through. Of course, you could always drop the ball and if that happens......see # 4 above.

 

2) Do Everything You Can To Remain Comfortable
I just don't understand why people can't remain comfortable in the church.  Churches have spent a lot of money on making the sanctuary pretty with the latest in high tech equipment.  How in the world could a person not be comfortable. It is your responsibility, no....it must be your heart's desire to look out for yourself! Number 1! The big kahuna! In order to do this, I suggest you do the following: 1) Claim your seat in the sanctuary every week.  Get there early so some guest doesn't try and take it from you. Perhaps you could bring a blanket and leave it in that seat all week long! Hey! Leave your Bible there too, that will help! 2) Make friends with whoever controls the A/C and when you get hot, fan your bulletin like crazy until they go change it.  3)  Place your Bible next to you on one side and your purse (ladies) or keys (guys) on the other side. Don't move them if anyone comes to sit down in that spot, after all, you need about 24 inches on each side to make certain you are comfortable. And by all means, don't make eye contact when someone tries to sit next to you.



1) Complain About Everything
I am sure, if you are doing the other five above already, this one will come with very little trouble.  Face it, you're already a pro, but you could consider stepping this one up a little bit. Everything can be complained about, so you don't have to prepare much. Instead, just look for something and then get upset about it. For example, if the sound is too loud, complain, however if it isn't loud enough, complain.  The preacher will go long or too short, so get ready for that. He won't use enough verses or maybe too many!  Someone is going to cough, a child might cry, the lighting won't be good enough, there are too many guests and you don't know them all nor have they come over and introduced themselves to you and the list goes on and on.  If you find that you are getting tired from complaining so much, complain about that too! 

As you can tell, there are plenty of ways to remain or become irresponsible in the church today! What are some of your ideas?  (...satire off)

Of course, if you want to become a responsible member of your church, be sure to do the opposite of this post =)


And now.....Off to the River!!!

The Top 4 Weakest Areas of Volunteerism in the Church

Before I begin posting the top four weakest areas of volunteerism in the church, it is important to recognize that this is not necessarily the same for every church. An area listed on this post may be the strongest area in your church and what is strong in your church may not be somewhere else. With that being clear, here are the top four weakest areas of volunteerism in the church, according to me....


4) Teachers/Small Group Leaders: Regardless of whether it is the need for people to rock and change babies in the nursery, the need for children's classroom teachers, youth group leaders or adult Sunday school class and small group leaders the chase is always on to recruit more of these people.  So much so, that many times churches are willing to adopt the "if they say they are a Christian, put them in there" mentality.
It's really no surprise to me that we react that way sometimes. In the words of Sophia Petrillo, picture it....  a concerned department leader comes into the pastor's office and says, "Pastor, we need some teachers. We are overrun with (insert age group here) and we don't have enough teachers to teach them!"  If we are not careful, panic sets in and we start fishing for people to teach.  This can be one of the most detrimental choices we make, if we don't vet and truly know who (and what they believe) we are putting into these classrooms. That being said, the need is still great and more than likely it isn't because God has not sent teachers into his churches. It is because those called to teach are not answering the call. 

3) Events/Outreach:  The Great Commission (Matthew 28:19-20) instructs us to "go and make disciples" and one of the proven ways to evangelize is through event evangelism.  Whether it's a Vacation Bible School, Revival, Movie Under the Stars, etc what is important is that it is fully staffed with volunteers.  People need to be on hand to plan the event, run the equipment, assist guests, lead discussion, act as counselors when people have questions about making a decision to follow Christ, set up and break down and the list goes on and on.  If the planning team has done their part, they will know how many people are needed and where they are needed long before the day of the event.  Beyond that, "the best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry" and this is guaranteed if God's people don't answer the call to volunteer and support the mission work that this event is designed to accomplish.

2) Prayer Team Members: Sadly enough, it seems that the weekly "prayer meeting" that many older generations were accustomed to as a regular part of their week has gone away.  It hasn't gone away because of some young pastor who decided to kill it (although I am sure that has happened in some churches).  It has gone away, or is on life-support, because corporate prayer is not an important part of the believer's life anymore.  In fact, the discipline of prayer takes a backseat in many Christians lives, especially young and new Christians. When do you pray? When someone asks? When trouble is lurking? What about the constant state of prayer, daily and when things are going well?  Unfortunately, because prayer life has dwindled, people don't see it as important to gather with other believers and pray.  Yet, not one major thing took place in the Bible without prayer first. This is probably a heart issue more than anything, but it is a weak place in the church and must be strengthened. 

1) Disciple Makers: The Great Commission, mentioned earlier, instructs us to make disciples.  After baptism, we are to teach them to obey Christ's commands.  The first century church did this well and had small groups meeting in homes. I don't have a problem with churches meeting together for "bigger" corporate worship, but if that is all they are doing, they are doing things wrong.  Whether you call them small groups, life groups, community groups or whatever, people need to gather in these smaller groups to pray, study and fellowship.  But that isn't enough either!  Every believer should be taking a younger believer under their wing and teaching them.  It can be done over a weekly breakfast or lunch.  It can be done monthly, if need be, at someone's home or switch up the location from time to time.  What is important is that we take time to disciple other people. The mistake is that people figure the pastor/staff will handle this on Sunday.  Your pastor/staff have their responsibilities in this area, but couldn't possibly disciple everyone. It takes believers (disciples) making other disciples, who in turn, make other disciples.  Who are you spending time with in discipleship?  

I am sure you can add more to this list and would love to hear from you! Post your thoughts below and add to the list of weak areas of volunteerism in the church! Now......off to the river.