Lean On Me.....not, really.

Warning:  This entry is going to have a lot of "I's" but I just want you to bear with me before deciding that I need a humility break.



I'm saved
I have a beautiful family whom love me very much and I them.
I have loving parents and step-parents.
I have awesome brothers (and their wives) and a whole crew of wonderful step-siblings, nieces and nephews.
My in-laws are amazing.
My sister-in-law (her husband, his kids) and my brother-in-law are also amazing.
I have some very close friends, some of which I don't see nearly enough.
I coach wrestling and golf at a great Christian school.
I'm ordained.
I'm almost a college graduate (B.S. Business).
I have plans to earn my MBA, Graduate Certificate in Pastoral Counseling, m.Div and perhaps a Doctorate in Leadership.
I've written a book, and the reviews are great...so far.
I have a great position in the Pastoral ministry.
I love the people of our church dearly.
I love the staff of our church dearly.
I am gifted in broadcasting and love to host the football friday programming.
I love writing on my blog and seeing what people say about it.
I've just started a weekly podcast for our church and I'm excited about it.

And yet....I struggle.

I have a tough time not reacting when I get upset.
I have a tough time not being depressed.
I have sleep apnea and if I don't get a good night on my CPAP I can't function well.
I rise and fall.  Some days I'm excited about everything and other days nothing is good.
Most of the time I don't feel like I'm being used the way God wants me to be, so I take on more, just to find out that it was the wrong decision.
I pray hard, sometimes angrily, because of how I feel.


Now, about God.



God saved me
God gave me a beautiful family whom love me very much and I them.
God gave me loving parents and step-parents.
God gave me awesome brothers (and their wives) and a whole crew of wonderful step-siblings, nieces and nephews.
God gave me amazing in-laws.
God gave me an amazing sister-in-law (her husband, his kids) and brother-in-law.
God gave me some very close friends, some of which I don't see nearly enough.
God allows me to coach wrestling and golf at a great Christian school.
God ordained me.
God has almost brought me through college. (B.S. Business).
God has plans for me to earn my MBA, Graduate Certificate in Pastoral Counseling, m.Div and perhaps a Doctorate in Leadership.
God granted me the ability to write a book, and blessed me with great reviews.
God gave me a great position in the Pastoral ministry.
God has put people of our church for me to love dearly.
God has blessed me with a fellow staff to love dearly.
God gifted me in broadcasting and I love to host the football Friday programming.
God gave me the love of writing on my blog and seeing what people say about it.
God blessed me with a brand new weekly podcast for our church and I'm excited about it.



And even though I struggle:

God has worked on me so that I react less quickly when I get upset.
God gives me the strength to climb out of the depression when it starts.
God blesses me with more good nights than bad and the ability to have a machine help along the way.
God raises me up and allows me to fall. When I fall, it's usually my fault or my focus is wrong.
God continues to be patient with me, even though I take on things He didn't assign me.
God let's me get mad, cry and fuss.  But He always holds me until I'm done and then wipes my eyes.

I guess it's all who I lean on as I walk down this road...


Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;   Proverbs 3:5