Is the idea that Opposites Attract unbiblical?

Is the idea that Opposites Attract unbiblical?

The idea that opposites attract is not a new one. In fact, who really knows how long it has been around? Anyone who knows us knows that my wife and I are total opposites.  I’m loud, she’s soft.  I talk a lot, she’s doesn’t.  I like action movies, she likes foreign films.  I like playing video games, she does not. I hate yard work, she loves it. I am messy, she is clean. There are some different theories in the world today that suggest opposites in a relationship may not be so good after all., however Dr. Gary Chapman disagrees. In his book, The 5 Love Languages, Dr. Chapman suggests that there are five different languages that each individual speaks and often times it is not the same one. Additionally, Dr. Chapman believes that “your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English” (Chapman, 15, 2017). If this is the case, it is not the opposites that cause the problem, they are merely symptoms. In actuality, it is the lack of communication or the ability to communicate that causes trouble.

It has been suggested that the verse in 2 Corinthians 6:14 which reads, “Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness” (NASB), gives couples reason to pause if they notice differences in themselves. This, however, is a poor hermeneutical understanding of the text. The idea of being bound together with unbelievers or unequally yoked (KJV) is not an issue of opposites it is an issue of salvation.  The image used by the Apostle Paul in this letter to the Corinthians is one that is borrowed from earlier texts, specifically Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:10, which both warn about intermarriage or close alliances with nonbelievers. If the couple is not made up of two believers in Christ, the Bible clearly contains warnings for the union to be ended and not continue on.

When it comes to a couple, such as my wife (Heather) and I, opposites must be clearly defined and understood prior to marriage as well as navigational/communicational techniques learned for such times when disagreements or misunderstandings occur.  Opposites are not inherently bad, but a couple that is not prepared for how opposites will affect their marriage can suffer greatly.  I believe, while “opposites attract” should not be reason alone to date or marry someone, when opposites appear they can be used to highlight the special differences and individuality.   In today’s society it seems as if the term opposite is negative.  For example, if you have a different opinion than I do, you are wrong.  However, that is not how opposites should be seen and good communication in and out of marital relationships is the key to success.

References:

Chapman, G. D., & Green, J. (2017). The 5 love languages: The secret to love that lasts. Chicago: Northfield Publishing.

Photo credit: By Geek3 - Own work, CC BY 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=40403559